3 Lessons Dolly Parton Taught Us About Mental Health
The news of Dolly Parton’s death was sudden, and I felt an acute sense of loss, that many of you may have felt. It is a strange thing to feel grief for someone you had no connection to. Nonetheless it was there. It got me thinking today of why that is and what is it about Dolly Parton that struck so many heartstrings that her passing left a mark on so many of us. I think there are three lessons we can take from Dolly in terms of our mental health and wellbeing.
First, Dolly Parton was a good person. We don’t often see many kind or good acts in the news all too often. We hear more about how people react badly. We want to hear other “spill the tea” of bad behaviors. Dolly was kind, flashy, and in her prime, was widely seen as a movie, and singer and only recently, more known as a philanthropist. Her commitment to literacy and generous donations of books to all children in her rural part of TN is the stuff of legends now. She knew that finding a purpose beyond her stardom by staying involved with her community was important. Depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders often leaves us isolated and stuck. Helping others gives us a sense of purpose, and improves our overall wellbeing. Plus, it gives you a reason to get up out of bed and to go connect with someone.
Second, Dolly was herself. In this instagram-insta-face world where your visual image is a key to female success, she knew this well. One of my favorite quotes of hers when asked about her plastic surgery, she said something to the effect of, “it costs a lot of money to look this cheap”. Her quote still makes me laugh! She didn’t mind throwing herself under the bus, to be honest and forthright with a good dose of humor. What is not to love about her approach to her appearance? When we're struggling with self-esteem or body image, we can practice noticing the harsh stories we tell ourselves and developing a more flexible relationship with them. Self-acceptance doesn't mean believing everything about ourselves is perfect. It means making room for our humanity without allowing criticism to define us.
Lastly, Dolly was loyal. Dolly showed up to events, was there for her family and friends. She built a theme park in her town to provide jobs and she was married to the same man for decades. He let her be her and she let him be him. She was not trying to change her spouse nor be changed, yet stuck by his side. That’s a great lesson for relationships in general. Whether you spouse, or other family member, or friend. Being there, showing up, letting people be who they are—there is a stick-with-it and see attitude the Dolly embodied that we can embrace. In this fleeting and fast moving pace of life, slowing down and taking time to be with the people you love will pay off in the long run. Combatting loneliness is a huge step toward improved mental health.
1. Find purpose beyond yourself
2. Learn to embrace who you are
3. Stay connected to the people you love
These are the key lessons Dolly Parton has showed us.
Sometimes insight isn't enough.
If you recognize yourself in this reflection and you're struggling to make changes on your own, therapy can provide a space to slow down, understand what's happening beneath the surface, and develop a more sustainable way of living.
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